Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Schools Out for Summer?


School’s Out For Summer 

School is out and the kids have gone home or to another town that offers more free time fillers than the village. Vera (my Vera Bradley duffle bag) and I headed out to hike to Windhoek to attend our second phase of Peace Corps training. While most Pre-Service Trainings are almost three months long, ours was about two and a half before we swear in and then another week after being at our sites for a few months. So the first week of December all 40 of us American’s were gathered together and put up in a beautiful mountain side resort and conference center complete with running water AND electricity. This was luxurious for those who have neither at their permanent sites. It was great to be with fellow Americans again, have free wifi, hot showers, unlimited food, and down time at the pool. Although being in the third world, this was actually a completely different experience than what you are probably picturing. Being isolated up a mountain where renovations were going on the power and water were only on half the time. You would wake up in the morning wanting a nice hot shower to wake up to only to find there was no water, oh well back to bed right? Luckily we are all well versed and experienced in how to not smell like you haven’t bathed in a few days after living in the bush for 3 months.
Meals with a view
We did have a pool all to ourselves though to at least rinse the sweat off. The first day it was slightly cloudy and tinted a bit green and absolutely freezing cold but that didn’t stop any of us. Some were scared off by the color, others were scared off by the cold. There were those brave few of us who knew we would one day beg to have an icy pool of water so we said YOLO to the color and dove in. With each passing day though the water refuge turned a darker shade of green and by the third day you couldn’t see your knees through the water. I called it the Ecto-Green Cooler pool like the Hi-C flavor that had the Ghostbusters ghost on it, others called it African Tropical Punch. The bottoms of my feet were slightly green with what I hope was algae residue after going in but I can assure you that I have yet to sprout any new limbs.
Green pool with a view
The week was an overall great time, the day was ours after 3pm every day and we drank overpriced beers each night in celebration for making it this far. By overpriced I mean 15N$ for a normal sized bottle which is actually only 1.50USD but should only have cost us closer to 10N$.
After our official Peace Corps business we were off to the coastal town of Swakopmund. It’s a bit of a tradition that each year after this second bout of training that a majority of the group travels to the vacation destination of the country to seek refuge in coastal breezes, adrenaline activities, good food and even better beer. Our days began with real (brewed, not instant) coffee at cute funky coffee shops, continued with beach time and various activities, consisted of indulgences of foods we have been craving for the past 5 months: pizza, Thai, Italian, seafood, and even Mexican. The days concluded with arguably my favorite part of the day, the sundowner. Sundowners will definitely be something I bring back to the states with me. It is a daily occurrence where everyone grabs a drink and watches the sunset as both your drink and the sun go down. There is no better tasting beer than one that you drink on a beach in Africa while the sun sets over the Atlantic Ocean.

Where the sand meets the sea 


Speaking of the sun, it is not something you mess with here. In the villages, we all know how HOT the sun is. You can literally feel it burning your skin if you walk around without sunscreen and its approximately 10-15 degrees cooler in the shade. Dangerous. On the coast though you let your guard down a bit because the cool sea breeze chills the surface of your skin. That does not mean that the sun does not still burn it. We all learned this the hard way as we strutted our stuff to the beach on day 2 armed with the best sunscreen money can buy in Namibia and burned to crisps. I was lucky enough to know when enough is enough but some of my friends’ bootys were not so lucky. Lets just say the next day none of us went outside or wore pants and we went through a few bottles of aloe. That didn’t keep us away from the beach the rest of the week though, our typical hangout ended up being a beach bar that was well shaded and served beer and seafood. I personally couldn’t stay way from that if you paid me.
One of the coolest and my most favorite activity was quadbiking. Namibia is an interesting place in that there is lush tropical greens, desolate barren wastelands, towering sand dunes, and beaches. Swakopmund is lucky enough to border the Namib-Nakuluft Park which is where some of its famous sand dunes are located. These dunes go right up to the coast line too. Like one minute its like oh wow look its like Aladdin and then you turn 90 degrees and its like wow look its like The Little Mermaid! One day a few of us signed up to go quad biking (like a 4 wheeler or ATV) through the dunes. It was about 350N$ for one hour but because I was on vacation I told myself it was only 35US$. We each jumped on our own personal bikes and followed our guide into the sand.  Leave it to me though to mess something up, about half way through our ride I realize my bike isn’t accelerating anymore. I don’t know what happened or what I did but it just stopped moving. So I just sat there staring at my friends riding ahead of me following the guide leaving me surrounded but vast nothing-ness. Within a few seconds the guide knew I was missing and came flying back towards me. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong himself and of course, couldn’t pick up a signal to call for backup so I jumped on the back of his and he drove me up the next dune to be with my friends. He told us to hang tight while he sped off to go pick up a signal to tell someone to bring me a new bike.
At first I felt really bad that my friends had to now wait on me like of course my bike would break down and we’d all be stuck but it turned out to be an awesome once in a lifetime experience. As our guide was busy riding around trying to get a hold of someone, we were left to take cool pictures and play around on the dunes however we wanted. I will say from my previous experiences climbing dunes in northern Michigan and feeling like I was going to die multiple times doing it, I did not instantly run down and try to climb back up. We did take a bunch of cool pictures and I did make a sand angel because I was feeling nostalgic for snow. You’re welcome friends. In conclusion though words cannot even describe how beautiful and barren and desolate and striking and everything the dunes were. I will pay to do it again and I would pay for even multiple hours out there because it was just breathtaking.  
My broken down bike in the distance



Friday, November 29, 2013

Shit My Learners Say Part 1


Do you have clowns in America?
Yes?
Maybe you can take some of these back to America with you.

Are you married?
No
Do you have a boyfriend?
No
Do you want one?
No

Do you know Chris Brown? Donald Trump? Lil Wayne?
No but I live by Eminem.
YOU KNOW HIM?
No I have never seen him.
How do you live by him but have never seen him?

Are there beautiful ladies in America?
Yes? Just like there are beautiful ladies here too and beautiful men.
Oooooooo MISS!!!!!!!!

Are you a part of the Illumaniti?
What are you talking about? No.
But your ring is a symbol of it.
No this is a peace sign.
Yeah that’s a sign of devil worshipers.
No it means peace. Where did you hear that?
The Internet.
I read that Namibia is full of snow on the Internet. Is that true?
What? No!
Exactly….

Miss the Illumanati is true!
No it is not, it is fake. I promise you.
No miss, I will bring you in one and prove it to you.

Is Nikki Minaj’s butt real?
What? I don’t know the specifics of people’s body parts.
What about Kim Karsdashian?

Miss, do bank robberies happen all the time? Is that how American’s are so rich?
Never in my life have I ever heard of a successful bank robbery.
Ohhhh so miss the movies are not real.
No hun. They are not real.

Miss, if I was given the choice between a cool drink and miss…
DO NOT ANSWER THAT.
But Miss
IF YOU ANSWER THAT YOU ARE GOING TO THE OFFICE
Miss I would take the cool drink and pour it and give it to you.
Oh lord you guys

Hello/ Good Morning/ Good Afternoon/ Good Afterbreak Miss *boys while waving arms at sides like birds or fish or something*
What are you doing?
Miss they’re our wings of love.
Do you seriously do this when you walk into class each morning?
No Miss only to the teachers we like.
Yes Miss and I only like you.

Miss do you have siblings?
Yes I have two sister.  They are 19. They are twins.
OOO do they look alike?
No actually I look more like each of them than they look like each other
Oh Miss you must take us to America with you when you go.
Sorry Allison and Kathleen I may have married you off…..

As a follow up to the previous ones the girls then replied
Miss do you have any boy cousins?
Yes I do
Oh Miss you must bring me them.
You do not want to marry my cousin
But miss why?
You just don’t
But Miss he is an American and I will love him
Oh lord, sorry Jimmy and Patrick

Miss where are you staying?
I’m staying with Christopher’s family right now but Im going to be living on the hostel grounds soon.
Miss, I’m going to bring my horses to show you.
I’m sorry but I’m not allowed to ride horses here. They’ll send me home because its dangerous.
What Miss?? No! My horses are not dangerous. I will bring one over and you will ride it and I will walk it, you will be very safe.

What does the water taste like in America?
Water? It tastes like water?
No it must taste different!
No really it tastes the same…..

Miss  you must carry an umbrella so the sun doesn’t hurt your beautiful skin

My host brother: Isnt the sun going to hurt you?
What?
Yes you are wearing short pants, wont the sun hurt your skin?
I’m going outside for like 10 minutes.
Okay but the sun is like allergic to you. Look what it did to my skin! (shows me his peeling arm.)
Yeah its just a sun burn. Have you never had one before?
No never!
I get them like at least once a year. I think I will be okay.

Miss why is your forehead two different colors?
That’s what happens when you put white people in the sun for too long. They burn and then they peel.
Oh Miss it looks like your skin is coming off!
Well it is but its dead so its good.
Oh Miss are you sure you’re not part of the Illuminati?


Upon seeing two girls crowd continuously going up to the classroom sink and look at something I ask them what is there.
No miss its nothing!
*Walking over to the sink* No what is it tell me now
No Miss don’t touch it!
I swear if it is a bug I will kill it.
OH NO MISS PLEASE!
I look into the sink and see a giant terrifying bug about half as big as my hand. So I say OMG get that out of here. If it is not gone in 10 seconds I will kill it!
No miss it is sick! It must stay in here.
No it is not sick
Yes he has a fever!
Hun, I studied bugs for like 4 years, they don’t get fevers.
Yes he has a fever
Well then he has fever because he is living in a chip bag and belongs outside.
The 16 year old girls then begin crying that this bug cannot go outside. I made them put it outside away from the window and they proceded to fake cry the REST OF THE DAY while peeking over their shoulders to see if I was watching.




Bonus** Not my learners but here are a few text messages from Mr. Derek that made me pee my pants.
Me: I want to show Mean Girls at the hostel.
Derek: OMG yes! My host family in Okahandja loved it too! I;m thinking it might be a little too racy for up here though considering the kids covered their eyes during a bugs life.
Me: What?? Omg I am dying! Hahahah
Derek: Like really? The grasshoppers are too scary? Stop.

Mind you I received this one during silent study time and began to cry while I stifled my laughter observing a similar cafeteria style map directly in front of my eyes.
Derek: So I started writing a Mean Girls Namibia… This is the map to my combined school, you’ve got your small boys, your unfriendly grade 10s, crazy pre primaries, girls with nice shoes, girls with no shoes at all, the greatest teacher you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of the teachers with sticks….
I told him I would fund his project.


I received this one while at a funeral.
Derek: I am watching he Lion King in Africa. This is ridiculous. We live in Africa.


Today meme brought home chocolate. I got the white chocolate, everyone else got
milk…coincidence or her idea of a joke?


OMG OMG OMG Greatest moment ever. There is a girl in group 34 who is from Norway and we’re at her site looking at books, one was in Swedish. Alex goes “you know Swedish” and I burst out “YEAH everyone in Africa knows Swedish!” GREATEST MEAN GIRLS MOMENT EVER

Happy Thanksgiving America! My First Turkey Day as Host Complete With Holiday Crisis


Greetings from the other side of the pond. I certainly hope everyone is enjoying time with their family and loved ones. I never realized how much I loved Thanksgiving until I wasn’t really able to celebrate it. I love having the day off and getting to see family and frequently in my family’s case, travel somewhere. I love having a ton of food to eat and I love that it is all homemade. I love that in the middle of the night you can go find the turkey carcass and nibble off a midnight snack. I love the turkey, stuffing and mashed potato breakfast my family and I usually indulge in. I love laying around watching football while the food cooks and most importantly I love pumpkin pie. This probably explains why I practically cried when I received a can of pumpkin, pie crust, and seasoning in my most recent box from my mom. There is “pumpkin” in Namibia but it’s essentially squash, and I didn’t want to attempt and probably mess it up. Also given the fact that I have been making mashed potatoes with a fork (Nothing is standing between me and mashed potatoes Megan O’Connor) I could only imagine how an attempt at homemade pumpkin pie would end.
            It’s funny because when people ask me to make them American food my mind kinda goes blank. What is American food? I remember the first week we had Amandine in the Twp. Coming all the way from Belgium ready to experience American culture for the next year and her first week is full of pizza, Thai food, Mexican, spaghetti, Chinese food, and maybe burgers one night. We realized that we had given her a taste of the rest of the world’s food “Made in America” but not really “American” food. Even us volunteers hosted an American cultural food day and had an Asian inspired, Mexican/Southwestern inspired, and Italian inspired table. If you think about it, the food we (or at least my family, friends, and I) eat every day is always inspired by a different culture that is present in the melting pot that is the US.  I would personally consider “traditional” food is what we eat on holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter food. Stuff you don’t eat everyday and you don’t really know how to prepare until you are an adult yourself.
            For example, if you handed me a ham, I would have no idea what to do with it. At all. I am not sure if I have told this story but when I was living in Okahandja with my host family there my host mom comes home and tells me she has a surprise for me. I get really excited as she guides me into the kitchen where there is a giant bag. She reaches into the bag and says she stopped at the store after work in the capital and bought a turkey. She looks at me and says her family has never had a turkey before and since she had an American living with her she wanted to buy one to make me feel at home. I was touched and then she says “So you’re American, you know how to cook a turkey right?” Lol what? Um okay sure lets see here. 2 carrots, a few baby stalks of celery, mutton stock. I tried my best, it turned out pretty good but at the end of the day I think the turkey was actually an overpriced duck… oh well.
            Tonight, thanks to the wonderful Kelley Riley, and her expensive package, I have all the fixins for a pretty decent Thanksgiving (minus the bird – I’m just using chicken) and the traditional food that all the Namibians I have met are requesting. However now comes the moral decision to share or hoard it all for myself. Actually, I decided to share, now the task at hand is to cook a whole Thanksgiving dinner with 2 pots, and a baking sheet….
            It began with the baking of the pies. I have never actually made a pie and have only ever really witnesses my mother making cobblers in the summer and fall.  I was super excited for the pumpkin because I cannot stress enough how much I love it. However I should make a disclaimer that I am used to perfection when it comes to pumpkin and apple pies. Nearly every year we order our pies from the local Yates Cider Mill. They are delicious and even call us each year wondering if we would like to order again. Um yes we would. There was one slip up year however. We were eating our pies and something tasted off. At first no one wanted to say anything out of fear for shaming the Yates name, when someone finally spoke up though we all agreed that they were just having an off year when it came to their pumpkin pies. Then we got the call. The poor Yates people called every one that had ordered their pumpkin pies after Thanksgiving dinner to admit they had forgotten the sugar when making them. At this moment everyone let out a sigh of relief that it was just an honest mistake. However the memory was forever in our minds.
            I don’t know how I could have forgotten it. But when I was making my pies I was just so excited, I couldn’t contain myself. I even put it in two pie tins so that I could possibly hide one just for myself for the weekend. They cooked beautifully. They were perfect, I couldn’t wait to cut into them and actually I didn’t. A chef always had to taste their creations right? I cut myself a tiny piece unable to resist the temptation anymore and took a bite. Something didn’t taste right… Maybe it was because I was in the middle of nowhere Africa…but then that SHOULD make it taste good. And then it hit me. Ohmygawd I forgot the stupid sugar. I was so excited to use the goodies from America that I forgot to simply add that little bit of sugar. I was going to give pieces to all my neighbors, eat this for breakfast, and had people coming over in an hour. Holy crap what do I do? Text my mom of course.
            What I was advised to try and ultimately did was scoop out the filling, mix sugar and then rebake it. It ended up working pretty well  and my fellow teachers tried taking the whole extra one home. Not happening buddy, but boy was I thinking in my head that next year I will laugh about this. Thank goodness the rest instructions that I had to follow to complete dinner were “Just add water”
            In all the evening was very successful. I taught them each about Thanksgiving and attempted to explain Hanukah on the fly. There was stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy out of a box, Namibian chicken that was still bleeding a bit when it unthawed, some all American CocaCola, and we all shared what we were thankful for The Namibians each ate a plate and I almost had to roll them out the door. Amateur hour up in here, they served no competition to my Uncle Wook. I am now a happy camper with all my left overs and some delicious breakfast tomorrow morning. 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Everyone’s Favorite Time of the Year – Exam Time


Everyone loves exams, students get to study for and take them, teachers get to decipher answers and grade them then calculate final grades, parents get to encourage their kids to study for them. Who am I kidding, no one likes exams except for when their finished. Here in Namibia, final exams are a whole month long, delicately scheduling one exam a day (multiple exams for each subject) leaving study hall for the remaining hours of school time. It is a super unnecessarily long drawn out process that could be combined into a week like they have it in the States. But no system is perfect so there has to be some reason they feel this is best.
            The month begins with the sanding of desks. The desks here have wooden tops and become every kids personal art easel through the course of the year. Every  kid must pick a desk, bring sand paper from home and go to town outside. I’m going to be frank with you, this process was torture. Even the good students who you know would never make a mark on the desk were expected to go out in the hot African sun and sand away small drawings of shapes and flowers because it might be an answer they could cheat off of. Those kids who could either not afford sand paper or forgot it (I’m thinking it was most likely the latter) took to picking up rocks off the ground or flipping their desks upside down sitting on it and having a friend or two push it across the concrete, I thought that was pretty innovative. I was lucky enough to supervise this event and thus I was in charge of approving whether the desk was up to standards or not.  After a while when about half of the kids were done I began going around trying to speed up the process. I was wondering what took some kids much longer than others. It was the deeply carved straight lines, triangles, and flowers that obviously hid answers to history, Afrikaans, and the like. I told them it looked fine but they were so worried the principal would beat them if it wasn’t completely cleaned. This slightly infuriated me so I grabbed the sand paper and began sanding myself. I felt that if I could not get these marks out myself then the poor kid shouldn’t be expected to either. After struggling with many desks I told them it was fine and to get out of the sun. Some of them were still worried they would get hit but were so grateful to me for understanding they shouldn’t be punished for someone else’s mistakes (or in this case deeply grooved lines that was a result of boredom). I told them I would speak with the principal regarding their matter. When all the desks were put back I marched up to the principal and told him that some of the desks still had marks on them, on those ones I grabbed the sand paper myself and failed to get them out therefore if he felt they were not up to standards here was a piece of sandpaper, he could try for himself and if he got it out he could hit me instead of the poor kids. I think he thought I was joking, I was not. I don’t think he ever checked any of the desks.
            When the actual exams began the schedule was something like 2.5 hours of silent study followed by a half hour break and then about another hour or so of silent study before the exam began. Sometimes the first half of the day also had an exam during, which would make 2 2hour exams that day. This part was slightly torturous too as the students were not allowed to work together, make noise, or sleep. Although I was naturally smart through junior high and high school I did study but I always found that the two most important study aids was a restful mind and a friend to study with and ask questions to. Sitting there with a book in front of you for two hours 3 times a day (there is mandatory afternoon and evening study which is silent study hour) I think is a waste of time. Unfortunately for these kids, they know no other way of studying and the ministry specifically demands they do this. Why? They feel it will improve low test scores, I have other opinions on that though. During the exam the invigilator must actively be walking around inspecting and keeping a watchful eye on everyone. I told him I worked security for 4 years and have a better watchful eye when I am stationary. This was also another Ministry delegated rule.
            Once the exams are done, the teachers go into full marking mode. My school as is many other schools are in clusters, much like a district. Collectively they have a vision and a mission and during exam time they share exams. This is intended to lighten the teachers load of each writing their own exams and to ensure that all the students in the cluster learn the whole nationally delegated syllabus. It’s a really good idea except that the exams this year for this specific cluster were not looked over by someone else. One exam was missing a whole page, other exams had too advanced questions for the specific grade, and on a few of them even the answer key was incorrect. One of the exams I helped a fellow colleague check I realized every kid got the exact same questions wrong. From my experiences, when that happens the teachers I had threw out the question acknowledging the questions was poorly written or it was the teacher’s fault for not adequately teaching it for his/her students to learn. In Namibia though, a common excuse is that the student did not study, that it’s their fault. Maybe it is because I was just a student a mere six months ago or because I always tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but I tend to take the students’ side on many issues that have arisen since I have been here, my principal has even called me out for it and has told me I need to be harsher on them. This was not in a mean way, he said it teasingly and with a smile but I think there was some seriousness to it. Anyway for this specific exam, realizing nearly every kid failed the multiple choice portion, I decided to go through every single question and calculate how many kids actually got each question correct. What I found out was that practically every kid got the same questions wrong and had put the same wrong answer. I knew the subject teacher was in fact a very good teacher so it couldn’t have been his fault nor the students, unless all 20 of them copied the wrong answers off of one kid, which was also unlikely since I was walking around the tiny class for the full 2 hours. So I made the teacher take the exam – mostly because I didn’t know enough about African or Namibian history to vouch for the correct answers. As it turned out, the teacher himself failed the exam when I marked it according to the answer key. After the whole debacle and realization, I was able to then to go back and award almost every kid an extra nearly 20% for their correct answers. That was certainly the difference between failing and passing for many.
            The subject teacher was just as grateful as I was to figure this discrepancy out, what is heart breaking is to think how many kids took this same exam and how many of their teachers might not have caught this, nor taken the time to fix all the exams. This education system is far from perfect, but so is the one in the United States. While I am sure that I will definitely learn more about this system as time goes on, it breaks my heart to think that maybe one of the reasons for the high fail rate here is due unavoidable mistakes this this. Its seems like these kids have the cards stacked against them so often, its not surprising that help is needed.